


The wings of a monster

by Thecatspajamas



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Cannon Divergence, Depression, Family Avengers, Fluff, Gen, Has more than one chapter I just don't know how to change it lmao, Healing, Nightmares, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Protective Avengers, Self depreciation, Self harm kinda, What am I doing, Wings, compassionate Bucky barns, fluff later, may not follow plotline, please help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:10:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thecatspajamas/pseuds/Thecatspajamas
Summary: I'm a monster. Monsters don't deserve what I have. Monsters deserve every single bad thing that comes to them. I don't even have a mother or father. I was a lab rat, a Frankenstein of the ages. My ugly purple-black wings, my scars, my pain, all of it I deserve. I wasn't born. I was made. This is my story.Follow a young woman with no name as she finds her way out of hell and into a family. An avenging family who helps her realize that she is worth it.





	1. Chapter 1

They opened the hatch again. The light was blinding, but I didn't have the strength to even turn my head away. The dirty manacles pulled at my wings, the sensitive bone flaring in pain with my every move. They pulled me out by my bloody wings and dragged me through the maze of hallways to test me. Or torture me. Whatever you want to call it.

The needles pierced my flesh, the hands pulled at my raw skin. I relished in the feeling. I deserved this. Monsters like me deserve to be treated this way. I didn't deserve to die. But oh, did I want to so badly. I can't die. They've stopped my heart and drowned my lungs but I always came back and they always kept trying. They pulled me back to my cell and left me.

My eyesight was blurry, but my hearing was excellent when I woke up. I guess I had passed out from exhaustion again. I had no idea how much time had passed when I heard noises of footsteps, lots of them coming toward me. It wasn't them this time, it was someone else. They opened the door and this time I did wince, raising a tattered wing against the shine.

"Holy shit," a voice uttered. He was a blond, I discovered, peeking through my feathers. Tall, with blue and red and white and a ridiculous helmet. Yeah, I thought, that about sums it up.He talked to someone

"Hey, Nat. I might need some help, here. There's a girl with... Wings," a pause, and a voice answering back, a woman saying she was on her way. Were they on their way to hurt me? It wouldn't matter. He slowly walked over with his hands up like approaching a frightened animal. He was right about one thing, but I wasn't afraid.

"Hey there, " he was speaking softly to me," we're going to get you out of here, ma'am. Help is on the way." I don't want help, I thought. I tried to tell him this, to tell him to leave me here, but all that came out was an unintelligible moan. A woman was coming, footfalls light and quick and sure. She smelled like blood and flowers. Interesting.

"Steve, we need to take her to medical, NOW. " she had urgency in her voice. I was fine. I just needed food and I would be able to heal. They hadn't given me food in a long time. I didn't know what hunger felt like anymore. He came closer, shushing me when I tried to talk again. He slid his arms under me, and I couldn't move if I wanted to. He motioned to the woman to break the chains, and she did. Darkness was the only thing for awhile, and the scent of woods and snow. I liked this scent. It was nice....

I came to in a white sterile smelling room. Another prison. Nicer than the last, but a guilded cage is still a cage. I could wiggle my wings and toes, and there were white bandages wrapped around me. A man came in, he had weird facial hair and smelt of motor oil and warm metal. He introduced himself.

"Hi. I'm Tony Stark. Billionaire, philanthropist, the whole nine yards. Who are you and what are you doing on my tower, hmm? You don't exist on any database I had JARVIS run. So, what's your name, because-"

"Tony, enough." It was another man. This made me wary. Men were bad. They did bad things. He had dark hair and a kind face. I think. I had never known kindness. He smelled like the first man but with a tangy medicinal scent.

"Sorry, he can be a handful sometimes. I'm Doctor Bruce Banner, pleased to see you're awake." Why did this one care? I was expendable, a failed experiment. I did not speak. The last ones would hit me and hurt me if I spoke. They didn't care what they did to The Project. The second one, Bruce, spoke up.

" you are healing remarkably fast, miss- actually, I don't know your name. Would you tell us? It would be very helpful." why are they asking? They can just take. It's what I'm used to. I figured that it was okay to talk when asked a direct question. I was not given a name. They called me many names. Bitch, freak, monster. Maybe they hurt once, but not anymore. The sirs were still waiting patiently for an answer. I decided to go with the one I thought fit best.

" My title is monster."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She meets some new people and all that good stuff.Merry Christmas!

"Okay, Mon. As I was saying, you're healing at an astounding rate. You seem to possess healing powers, which is very intriguing. I'll have Steve come in in a moment with some soft food. Do you have any questions?" Bruce continued on, looking at his clipboard and writing things. I had so many questions. But I was not going to say anything. Where was I? Why did you take me? Why are you being so nice? I did not dare voice these things, and quickly shook my head and the blond man who carried me came in.  
He sat a tray on my lap with some type of fruity smelling paste. Applesauce? I knew of this food but had never seen it. The scientists gave me extensive schooling, and taught me smells and what they meant.  
I dug in with my fingers and shoved as much of it into my mouth as I could. I never knew when they would take it away. With the first few bites I could feel my strength coming back. Slowly but surely I could lift my arms better and move my wings a little.   
I finished quickly and they just gave me more! I finished that and many more and soon I fell tired. I wanted to eat as much as I could before it was taken away but my body demanded rest. My eyes slipped closed and I drifted into the welcome darkness.  
When I awoke there was nobody in the cage with me. I stood and explored my new prison. I discovered another tray of food and quickly downed it along with water from a nearby cup. There was nothing else of interest, and I moved onto the door. It was not locked? I pushed and the door opened smoothly. Cautiously I stepped out, my footsteps light and quick and sure. I came upon a room. I could hear loud arguing within.  
"Come on! She needs a place to stay and she can't be comfortable in that stupid room." This was the blond man. Another voice, the one possessing wealth spoke,  
" well, we don't know what she is capable of yet. She is already healing, and we don't know anything about her. Not to mention the WINGS on her back. Wings, Old man, Wings!"   
They kept talking and I knew they were discussing me. I walked in quietly and instantly the noise stopped. I was burning with questions I had. There was only the three men and the woman I had met, as well as a dark haired man with a Metal arm, a man dressed in purple, and a mountain of muscle with a giant hammer.   
The metal armed one said nothing, only stared. The purple man spoke next.  
"Hello, Mon. Are you feeling better?" He smelled of a summer breeze and kids and a dark flinty undertone. I nodded hesitantly. What was I supposed to do? Were they not angry for me, a freak, coming into their meeting? The blond man spoke next, kneeling before me with his hammer.  
"My lady, it is an honour to meet you. My shield brothers and sister did not tell me that you were of Valkyrie kind! I never thought I would meet such a majestic being. It is truly astounding that you grace us with your presence." His voice was loud and booming. My wings were folded tensely behind me. An honour? I couldn't fathom why he would want to meet me. I was a failure to human kind. An abomination. And yet he kneels before me and tells me I'm an angel?  
My mind reeled. I was not worthy. I was the opposite. I wrecked things and killed people. This man who smelled of spices and a blur of unidentifiable things, he was wrong. My wings flared a bit in surprise. Then the Steve man spoke.  
"Uh, we were just talking about you. Mon, this is Clint, Thor, and Bucky. We set up a room for you, Mon." Tony scoffed at this, "I can show you there if you would like?" The metal one spoke up.   
"I'll come too." Steve beamed at the man and gestures me out of the room. He led me to an elevator and... Asked the ceiling to take us to his floor? To my surprise, the ceiling answered.  
"Of course, sir." My wings jumped and one smacked the metal man in the chest. The metal man smelled of gunpowder and Steve. Why would he smell of Steve? Were they related?  
Bucky, the metal man, gently grabbed my wing and lowered it. Before I could beg his forgiveness, the elevator doors opened and I followed the two men.  
"Me and Bucky used to share this floor, but there's an extra space and we were going to move you in there. Just come get me or buck if you need anything." I saw through their ruse. They were putting the least threatening ones to watch me to see if I did anything wrong. They may have acted nice, but I knew how strong they were.   
What they didn't know is that I was stronger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recent comment has inspired me to write this little bit. Go Steve man!

They left me in a room. It was plain and had a very large area for sleeping. The two men had left but I knew I wasn't truly alone. I cou.d hear the cameras whirring. Watching. It made me uneasy, and I knew I wouldn't get any sleep. This room isn't safe right now. The door and the windows are weak. I knew one place wouldn't have cameras. I took a lone pillow off of the bed and walked into the bathing room. I shredded the pillow and placed the down feathered mess into the Sunken tub. I would have liked to use my own feathers but my wings were in no shape for nesting right now. This was a little better, at least. I curled up among the fluff to wait out the night.   
I was startled awake by a mans voice coming from the ceiling.   
"Hello, miss. I would like to inform you that mr. Rodgers and mr. Barns have requested you for training, and then breakfast."

This voice did not have a smell to go with it. I remembered that the voice was one I had heard before. My wings were relaxing after I remembered that fact. I nodded to myself and walked out of my nesting room. They gave me an order and I wasn't about to disobey them. I opened the door silently and was met with the Steve man. He smiled at me, 

"Hey, mon. We're gonna go down to the training room, are you coming?" I then noticed the metal man come out of the other door. I nodded respectfully and turned to follow the Steve with the metal man flanking us. My wings were on edge with him in my blind spot. We soon reached a large area with strange objects and machinery scattered around. I tensed. Were they going to experiment on me? I knew it, I bitterly thought. It was just a matter of time. I was broken out of my thoughts by the Steves talking. 

"Well, here we are! This is just to see what you can do so far. Me and buck will be watching and taking notes ofpn how well you do." Ah, I understood. This was a test. I flexed my wings out behind me. I wasn't going to fail. They would see that I was useful and keep me. The Steve walked over to a set of bars behind a bench.

"Me or buck'll demonstrate, and then you can try." I nodded and he laid down and lifted a bar high over his chest. He stood up and gestured for me to go. I laid down with my wings crushed uncomfortably against the bench but I pressed on. I lifted the bar with one hand, as the Steve added more and more weights. This went on, with me exceeding their expectations by the way that their eyebrows kept climbing. Or Steves, anyway, the metal man never seemed to show much.   
It was time to fly. I was nervous, and my wings were held tight against me. My flight feathers were so damaged I didn't know what I could do. But I had to show my new handlers what I was capable of. I spread my tattered wings out to their full span, maybe five feet on each side. I crouched and took off. Or tried to. I just got three feet and my wrecked wings couldn't take it, me falling to the ground in a graceless heap. I hung my head, waiting for punishment. Steve stepped over. He sounded concerned,  
"Mon, are you alright? Don't worry about flying yet, we just need to get your strength up." I flinched at his words. I failed. The metal man seemed to understand. He looked at me and even if I wasn't looking back I could feel his stare burning holes in my feathers. If only I had my full wings. But they took them away. Said I didn't need them. They were so strong and pretty, but they took them away.


	4. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I hope some of you are still following me.... anyway, here we see a little bit of M's past, so a little warning for violence and all that jazz. I probably will only add more to this piece if I get some more comments, since I am not getting a lot of feedback as of yet, I can only assume not a ton of people like this story. Which is fine, I get it. Love y'all!

I have distant memories of when I could fly. I only truly flew once.  
~flashback~(warning:some blood and violence.)  
The wind was whisking me through the air. It felt damn good to fly. This was the first time they had let me outside, an I wasn't going to waste it. I looped and swirled, my dark plumage ruffling with the wind. Nothing in the world could compare to this feeling.  
As I landed, I knew something was off. My handler was staring at me. I hung my head, waiting. Listening. After a few seconds, pain laced through my left wing, then my right. No, they can't be, I thought.  
But they were. I kept my head down as feathers, shining with a thousand colors under a dark cast, drifted to my feet. Someone forced me down to my knees, cutting a deep slice in my knee, making blood flow freely. They were cutting my flights.  
Cutting isn't the right word, though, because the blade was dulled and they had to rip and tear to strip me of my feathers. I knew the blade was on purpose, because they had not given permission to me before I took flight, and I wanted to cry. Crying was not an option, crying shows weakness and I am punished for being weak. The ripping results in blood, dark and viscous, spattering on the ground, pooling at my feet. White hot pain ran through my back, my knee my wings--  
~end of flashback~  
I was cut out of my dream by a hand shaking me. My first instinct was to flinch and bow my head again. I knew what was coming, braced myself for the pain to come.  
"Hey, are you okay? " the Steve man spoke and I smelled him near me. Too near. I didn't like it, but couldn't say anything, awaiting my punishment for my failure. Suddenly, he stepped away, and metal man came close.  
"Get up, we're going to medical." His voice was gruff and scratchy, but gave me something to do. I could follow orders. I started to stand, and eventually got to my feet. Sparing a glance at the blond man, his faces was oddly pinched. I filed that thought away for later and walked forward, but it was like my legs were unresponsive.  
I fell, hard, and with no one there to catch me, my knees struck the hard flooring and I collapsed. I could hear voices, but the words were blurring together. I registered the scentless voice speaking before darkness consumed me.  
Waking up, I was on guard. I could smell three men in the room I was in. Breathing in slow with my eyes still closed, I registered the scents as Steve, the metal man, and the man who healed me. I snapped my eyes open, sensing something wrong. The metal man was staring at me. Shit, he knew I was awake. He nudged Steve and I noticed how close they were, fingers intertwined with the others.  
"Uh, Mon. That was quite the fall. You can't exhaust yourself like that," he spoke, and at his words I shrunk into the cushions. I was sorry. So sorry. I would make it up to him, promise, just give me time,I'll do better. I breathed quick, too quick, my heart beating fast and hard. I forced myself to calm. Tremors ran through me, as well as hunger in my stomach. The metal man caught on to the noises my stomach was making and looked pointedly at Steve.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. You must be hungry. I'll get you something to eat and some water right away," the doctor spoke, writing his hands together and rushing out. I stood, and Steve hovered near, making my wings tense in response.  
It hurt for my wings to move because I had tried to fly. I have only flown twice in my life. I shuffled to the door, which was again, unlocked. Did these people trust me so much? Pushing through, Steve and the metal man rushed after, Steve offering to show me to my room. I merely pushed forward. Of course I didn't need their help. I followed my scent trail back to my room, the two men trailing behind me. I went straight to my nest, curling up. Someone had come into the cage and cleaned my nest away. I was used to cold floors, though, so it made no difference to me. Maybe this was my punishment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave a review. If you think something should happen in the next chapter, tell me that too and I'll try to incorporate it. Until next time!


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